Daniel's Top 5 Scenarios When He Doesn't Finish His Homework(in primary school)

*read my earlier post to understand the relevance of this post*

(The following has already been translated from Chinese which was used during the actual conversation.)

1. Teacher: Where's your homework?

Me: I forgot.

Teacher: Palm up.

Me: Huh? for what?

Teacher: Just do it.

Me: Ok. It's clean if tha*WHACK* OWH!!! MADER****ER!!!

Teacher: Remember it next time.

2. Teacher: Where's your homework?

Me: I forgot to bring it.

Teacher: Palm up.

Me: *remembers the last time*

Teacher: Good boy.

Me: Huh? I'm off the hook?

Teacher: *WHACK*

Me: I guess not....

3. Teacher: Where's your homework?

Me: I did it. I swear(when i clearly did not).

Teacher: Is it?

Me: (finds hope that my hand can rest today) YES!!!

Teacher: Ok. I believe you.(at this point i can hardly believe my luck) But, palm up.

Me: WHAT??? WHY??? YOU JUST SAID U BELIEVED ME!!!

Teacher: Yeah, well, this is for not bringing it.

Me: ARGHHHH!!!!!

Teacher:(i swear she smiles each time) *WHACK*

4. Teacher: Where's your homework?

Me: Well.... You see...

Teacher: Palm up.

Me: Darn it...

Teacher: *WHACK*

(at this point i realize i cant talk my way out so...)

5. Teacher: *walks in and looks at me without saying a word*

Me: *walk out to her and put my palm up*

Teacher: *WHACK*

Episode 2- Chinese Primary School(A Kid's Worst Nightmare)

Hey guys, sorry for not posting on time(It's funny how stuff suddenly come up when you wanna update your blog). Anyways, back to my story:)

When you're 7 years old in Malaysia, you begin your first stage of formal education a.k.a primary school. Bye-bye colouring books, playtime and other fun,kiddy stuff that you do in kindergarten(sniff sniff...). Well, here, parents have the choice if sending you to to 3 types of hell: Public Primary School(isn't too much of hell and can be considered heaven if your parents put you in a Chinese School), Tamil Public School(honestly, i dunno what goes on in there) and finally CHINESE PUBLIC SCHOOL(if you are a gamer(God of War) or a Greek mythology fan, think The Pits of Tartarus. Yep... the deepest part of hell itself). You can guess where i ended up(Chinese School duh...). Ok, It wasn't thaaaaat bad(i still think it is), but my parents wanted me to pick up an extra language and cause Chinese is the next big language to English(according to their sources at the time) I was enrolled in SJK(C) Simpang Morib. My primary school performance was quite decent considering i only had a year in a Chinese Kindy(Tadika Yee Ing) and i managed to keep myself in the top 3 in school(any lower and my parents(mainly mum) would readily skin me(my butt actually) alive.Believe me, i know(couldnt sit down for some time after the results for a monthly test came out in Standard 3 or 4).

Seriously though, parents were one thing to deal with, but teachers were probably the worst(especially chinese teachers) Life was hard for me cause I was a kid who refused to do my homework. I wouldn't mind if it was a bit, but I usually had like up to 12 different kinds of homework to do in a day(people who are from an SJK(C), u noe wat i mean). After struggling with trying to finish them for a few months(coz if u dont teachers whack the crap out of u) i gave up and started hiding my work under my bed and looking for excuses(see my next post).

You know how they say Chinese people are darn good when it comes to numbers(i mean maths. not 4D). Well, i'll tell you why. In Standard 3, i was introduced to multiplication( where i learned dat 4x4=16 is not read as four ex four equals sixteen). My teacher decided it was best if we memorized our multiplication tables all the way to 12. Obviously i didn't bother to memorize, so the next morning the teacher lined up those who did not memorize and made us run around the basketball court for each table we did not know(now u noe why chinese are good at basketball and numbers, early exposure, duh). I damn near died(UNICEF!!! WAT THE HECK U GUYS WAITING FOR??? GET OVER TO CHINESE SCHOOLS AND BRING THEM DOWN!!!).

In the end, i finished my primary education rather well considering how much i hated it. Scored 5As and 2Bs in the public exams(UPSR) Bs were for??? Chinese Grammar and Chinese Writing. Duh...

When i think back, guess there were lots of stuff i gained from it. Like how now nobody can gossip bout me in front of me in chinese(go on punk, i noe u want to), my hands became rough and tough( due to the beatings) and good for physical activities etc. etc. Just use this part to thank my teachers. xie xei ni men de jiao dao lao shi:)

I guess thats all you guys need to know bout my primary school life. Episode 3 will be bout me and secondary school life:)

Thx for reading guys,

love,

ME!!!

Episode 1- The Early Years(Age 0-6)

28 Feb 1992... 5.45am... All was calm in Klang General Hospital, Selangor, Malaysia, when suddenly a newborn infant's scream shattered the quiet peace of the morn. The very foundations of the earth shook at he's cry. It was declared at all the four corners of the world that a legend was born. And his name was... Daniel Choon!!!! (AHAHAHAHAHA stylo la the intro:P)

Fine... Maybe I exaggerated a lil bit. As you guys probably guessed that's not exactly how i was born but what the heck, It's my freaking blog so i can write whatever the freak i want:P Comprende???

Well, you guys got a rough idea bout the details of my birth so i shall continue. Erm... where should i start??? Ok. I was born to 2 wonderful people whom i know as mum and dad:) They're teachers, a noble profession(hats off) but gotta face reality, here in Malaysia, the government dont really take care of teachers as well as they should. So i wasnt really born with a silver spoon in my mouth but hey, when life gives u lemons u make lemonade rite?:P Not that life was hard, I had the basics like a nice house, good food to eat at every meal(my parents are awesome chefs), the best education up til now, and i got all the love i needed( thx mum and dad) plus a few lil extras. I got no complaints and i thank God for my family. The only things i wished for when i was growing up was real minor stuff eg. toys and that crap that u can live without but kids who had them made it seem like it was oxygen:P So yeah, i was fine:) NO COMPLAINTS:)

My parents put a BIG(i mean REALLY REALLY BIG) stress on education. I got started on ABCs when i was 2+, was reading 'Peter and Jane' when i was 3, couldn't live without Enid Blyton when i was 5(reading became my thing so to speak). I was supposed to enter primary education a year earlier but i couldn't coz my parents wanted me to attend a chinese school but the (darn)school didnt allow me go in a year earlier so i had to repeat a year in kindy(kids... sheesh...).

You could say i was smart back then( owh yeah... i got praised a lot... hehe) but trust me when i say the worst was yet to come...

I think that will suffice for the early years. Be back 2moro for a detailed account of me and my life in a chinese primary school.

love,
ME!!!

My blo-ject....

Hey guys:)

Spent the whole of yesterday wondering what i should write on my blog. Then a word just hit me in the nuts. (well, not really but u get the idea) Ta-da!!! BLO-JECT. Don't know if other bloggers use it already cause i'm new to the scene:) For those of you who need an in depth explanation to the term, here it is: think blog and project. Ok, the point of my blo-ject is to tel u guys bout myself. I mean, i cant just randomly start posting stuff bout my life thats happening now. U barely know me so i doubt whats happening in my life now would make any sense or cause bother to u:) So i've decided to embark on a little quest to give u guys a window into my life. All 18 years of it;) Relax, i'm not gonna write it all in one post. It'd just be too darn long and sound even more boring than my life actually is. And not to mention my butt would hurt like hell once i'm done. So my blo-ject is basically a mini series bout my life:) Episode 1 premiers tomorrow. Be sure u catch it:)

love,
ME!!!

finally [fahyn-l-ee] –adverb at last; eventually; after considerable delay.

hey there ppl:)

3CHEERS:P I'm FINALLY starting a blog. Call me old fashioned(i'm oni 18 so u better not) or different but the thing is i never did understand the concept of blogging. Think bout it, going arnd wasting ur time for the sake of looking into the lives of others and telling everyone else bout ur life(what's wrong wif ur sense of privacy???). Used to think dat ppl who had no life or were unhappy wif thier own would do dat. I mean, u could do sumtin more productive(dun ask me for examples coz my idea of productivity is sleeping,lol) Then more and more ppl i knew started blogs and soon i was the odd one out. Hated being asked by everyone: hey man, do u blog??? ei... u got blog ah??? wanna read my blog??? why u dun blog one??? etc. etc. Then as my (currently extremely free) brain begin to think bout this rather contagious habit of blogging i became enlightened on the fact dat blogging wasn't wat i thought it was, rather i realised it was a wierd and wonderful thing where u can share ur joy and pain, all the good times and bad, offer advice to frens etc. etc. So i came to a conclusion... Why not blog???? So here i am ppl to share my life moments wif u coz it's DAMN CUN LAH!!!!!

*hope u guys liked my first post:)*